My wardrobe is shrinking. It took me a few days, but I sorted through everything, trying to get rid of the junk. I had too many t-shirts. The piles weren't as pathetic as I expected. There weren't endless folded-up black tees with cartoons of videogames. Considering this, I believe I've been doing pretty well. Still, a t-shirt with a cartoon isn't a fashion choice, no matter what decade that cartoon came from.
Today, I went shopping at the mall. Two hours and $300 later, I bought several jackets, coats, and trousers. I'm trying to move away from a Tee-a-Day look and more towards shirts and slacks. Gone are my giant carpenter jeans, replaced with grey and black slacks. Adios Konami Code Hoodie (Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A) to be replaced with sports coats and wool jackets. Scarves are accessories, and not a D20 necklace.
How far do I take this? I've begun to sell my games, keeping only a handful. I'm changing my look. Do I throw away all my geeky activities? Get rid of my board games? Hide my PC and consoles? Do I start drinking Natty Ice and watching football and giving high fives to big guys in polo shirts? I want to be myself, but no one gives my self any attention.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
What a shame....
Rachelle has a boyfriend. Of course she does. She's beautiful and clever, so it shouldn't be a surprise to me, right?
We've been talking during our Monday, Wednesday, and Friday classes. Sometimes, we'll exchange a few words before the lecture begins. She's 19. Knows French, studying Arabic. I'm 23, honorably discharged. She bought a new Saab. A blue convertible. I flew to Atlanta to hang out with friends. Sometimes, she shows up late for class, and we can't get time to say anything. Some days we ignore each other until the very end, where I'll throw out a "See you later!" before rushing out the door. To where, exactly? I don't have class afterward.
Other times, she's there, waiting for me. My normal seat will be empty. As I sit, she will smile at me and offer a "hello." We might chat for 10 minutes while the class fills in. We'll talk about anything at all. I say her name, "Rachelle," during the conversation, looking her in the eyes while smiling. She'll smile back and look me in the eyes as well. Then, too soon, the professor will start his droning, and our sweet conversation will drift off as we scramble for pens and notebooks.
Still, she has a boyfriend.
We've been talking during our Monday, Wednesday, and Friday classes. Sometimes, we'll exchange a few words before the lecture begins. She's 19. Knows French, studying Arabic. I'm 23, honorably discharged. She bought a new Saab. A blue convertible. I flew to Atlanta to hang out with friends. Sometimes, she shows up late for class, and we can't get time to say anything. Some days we ignore each other until the very end, where I'll throw out a "See you later!" before rushing out the door. To where, exactly? I don't have class afterward.
Other times, she's there, waiting for me. My normal seat will be empty. As I sit, she will smile at me and offer a "hello." We might chat for 10 minutes while the class fills in. We'll talk about anything at all. I say her name, "Rachelle," during the conversation, looking her in the eyes while smiling. She'll smile back and look me in the eyes as well. Then, too soon, the professor will start his droning, and our sweet conversation will drift off as we scramble for pens and notebooks.
Still, she has a boyfriend.
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Lady-Killer
There's a girl.
In one of my classes, she sits next to me. Actually, when the semester started, I began to notice her across the room. She had long, dark hair. I noticed her cute top. Specifically, I noticed that she was wearing a cute top over her large breasts. One day, I decided to take the seat next to her. It took my two more classes before I could work up the nerve to introduce myself. I ran it through my head several times.
"This class is painfully bland," through the side of my mouth, "If you need someone to poke you awake, my name is Chris." She'd smile at me and introduce herself, falling in love with my wit.
"I need coffee to keep me awake," I could say, "Want to grab some with me?" She'd smile at me and we would fall in love over two steaming lattes in the library.
"Hi, I'm Chris," I finally spat at her. She sat down and smiled, "Rachelle," shaking my hand.
It's a start. Rachelle.
In one of my classes, she sits next to me. Actually, when the semester started, I began to notice her across the room. She had long, dark hair. I noticed her cute top. Specifically, I noticed that she was wearing a cute top over her large breasts. One day, I decided to take the seat next to her. It took my two more classes before I could work up the nerve to introduce myself. I ran it through my head several times.
"This class is painfully bland," through the side of my mouth, "If you need someone to poke you awake, my name is Chris." She'd smile at me and introduce herself, falling in love with my wit.
"I need coffee to keep me awake," I could say, "Want to grab some with me?" She'd smile at me and we would fall in love over two steaming lattes in the library.
"Hi, I'm Chris," I finally spat at her. She sat down and smiled, "Rachelle," shaking my hand.
It's a start. Rachelle.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Out with the old...
Today, I've jumped in with my first official steps toward dating. I'm selling my toys.
I listed most of my XBox 360, Wii, and DS games. Where they sat lovingly on my shelf, organized by genre and title, there now is an empty space on my shelf. The hole of dust in that one spot is unnerving. I decided that I didn't have time to go back and finish the games I hadn't beaten or to replay the ones I had. Instead, the games I enjoyed so thoroughly will fund my attempt to entertain and impress. Instead of impressing my friends with my gamerscore, though, I'll impress some ladies. Hopefully.
It's funny how hundreds of hours of my life can be reduced to a few brown paper packages. I hope these go to a good home.
I listed most of my XBox 360, Wii, and DS games. Where they sat lovingly on my shelf, organized by genre and title, there now is an empty space on my shelf. The hole of dust in that one spot is unnerving. I decided that I didn't have time to go back and finish the games I hadn't beaten or to replay the ones I had. Instead, the games I enjoyed so thoroughly will fund my attempt to entertain and impress. Instead of impressing my friends with my gamerscore, though, I'll impress some ladies. Hopefully.
It's funny how hundreds of hours of my life can be reduced to a few brown paper packages. I hope these go to a good home.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I'm Single, Geeky, and Horny. Surprised?
My name is Chris and I'm a horny geek.
God, it feels good to admit what I've just said. I've been a geek all my life, and I've tried to run from it. I paint miniature figures. I've built my own desktop computer. Most of my travel destinations are to conventions where I can hang out with my geek friends. I have a Shadow Priest. I own an R2D2 trash can. I can 5 star expert songs on Rock Band.
I'm recently single.
My girlfriend broke up, and now I'm alone and horny. I've spent more time masturbating this week than playing video games. Usually that ratio swings the other way. Now, I'm going to try and date again, something I'm horribly frightened of. It doesn't help that I'm poor, boring and nerdy. I'd much rather spend time shanking dumb Sniper and Heavies on my rig than going out to meet girls, but I've decided to bite the bullet. I'd rather be humiliated than lonely right now, so I hope things go well. Wish me luck!
God, it feels good to admit what I've just said. I've been a geek all my life, and I've tried to run from it. I paint miniature figures. I've built my own desktop computer. Most of my travel destinations are to conventions where I can hang out with my geek friends. I have a Shadow Priest. I own an R2D2 trash can. I can 5 star expert songs on Rock Band.
I'm recently single.
My girlfriend broke up, and now I'm alone and horny. I've spent more time masturbating this week than playing video games. Usually that ratio swings the other way. Now, I'm going to try and date again, something I'm horribly frightened of. It doesn't help that I'm poor, boring and nerdy. I'd much rather spend time shanking dumb Sniper and Heavies on my rig than going out to meet girls, but I've decided to bite the bullet. I'd rather be humiliated than lonely right now, so I hope things go well. Wish me luck!
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